Relapse
by Rixton
Summary: There is only one person who can get her through and keep her from falling. Will Jane allow that person to help her or will she self destruct. Jane/Maura
1. Chapter 1

Part 1

"We need to talk"

"Based on your tone, I'm not to sure we do" She stood with he back to him as she chopped up the vegetables in front of her, nothing about the tone of her younger brother made her want to engage in this conversation.

"Jesus… Jane… I don't need this" he was growling in a low tone, through gritted teeth. He was now at her side, she still didn't look at him, she still continued to prepare the dinner that she would rather not be attending.

"Frankie, I have a few hours before our family walk through that door. That means a few hours of normality left…I don't need you taking that away from me!"

"You slept with her sister?" he growled.

This pulled her attention from the preparing of vegetables to Frankie. "What?" She demanded the fury building in her. When he failed to explain further her grip tightened around the knife handle, "what the hell are you talking about?"

"Rachel... that's what i'm talking about… i asked you to give her bed while she was over here not take her to bed. Damn it Jane she's going to be my sister in law!"  
Slamming the knife down she now turned herself fully "watch your goddamn mouth Frankie"

"Jesus christ...she is married!"

Despite her wanting to react she knew she had to contain this, they weren't alone in the house and the last thing she needed was a shouting match. "Look… i have no clue where this is coming from but you have it all wrong"

"Do I… not what the guys are telling me from the Dirty Robber? You have a good night last night huh?"

"i'm going to blame the fact you're god damn stressed and that's why you walked in here acting like this" She growled back, "the guys, they are talking shit, You know them…" she decided to dismiss his claims. She couldn't deal with this right now.

"I know you!" He accused.

"Fuck you Frankie! You're wrong! And you're out of order"

"Look... you do you Jane... Just not with her…"

"Stop" she warned him. She was losing control of her temper and this has the ability to escalate between them if he didn't step back, the anger was rising up into her chest now and the only think forcing her to stay in control was the woman he was accusing her of bedding last night being upstairs, and the day ahead of them was already going to be more than difficult without adding this to it. "Lets shelf this for another day!"

He looked away from her across the kitchen, he turned himself and lent his back on the countertop. She took this chance to create some needed distance between them, she headed over to the fridge- he was seething with a mixture of anger and frustration and this was only fueling her own cocktail of emotions. She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it back from her face. All she could think about was how she didn't need this - especially today, and before this afternoon's gathering. "Fuck!" She growled under her breath as she pulled open the fridge door, "usually people show up for a coffee, maybe a goddamn donut… not to call someone out in their own kitchen" She took two bottles of water, then turned back to him, not moving from where she was stood she threw it across the kitchen. He caught it. "If this wedding's getting to you! Fine" Jane attempted to justify his action of bursting in and attaching her without so much as a hello "I'm the sister. I'm here to be your punching bag to get you through…also fine...but don't come into my god damn house and accuse me of shit you have no clue about. Especially today...of all god damn days you asshole!"

This caught his attention, he noticed her tone had changed, for a brief second he saw a hurt he hadn't witnessed in a long while. The words replayed in his mind ' _today...of all god damn days'_ He moved to step toward her, his mannor changing, "Jane...i'm…"

She broke eye contact from him as she blinked back tears that threatened to fall, she was losing her composure and the pity in his eyes that has now replaced the anger was too much for her - twisting the lid from the bottle she cut him of before he could say any more "I need some air" she turned, walking out of the back door and into the garden.

It was just before midday, there was no breeze in the air, just a still heat. The sky was a sea of blue, no clouds around to offer a break from the direct rays. Her bare feet sunk into the grass as she made her way across the lawn to the top of the garden. She had created the much needed distance from the situation in the kitchen. She sat herself down on the steps that lead up to the seating area.

She remembered how much Hannah had begged her to create this area, when the two of them had first moved into the house it was all she'd spoke about - five years in an Jane had finally given in to the wishes, she completed it and it was Hannah's favorite place to come sit, and waste away the summer days well into the evenings.

"Damn it I miss you" she spoke out loud. Shaking her head she let out a frustrated laugh, "you made these kind of gatherings a hell of a lot easier"

Jane was wearing a pair of Hannah's oversized jeans and her old white vest top. They didn't smell of her anymore, not like they had at first, when Jane first found comfort slipping into them, the smell faded too soon. The comfort of slipping into her fiancée's jeans and a baggy t-shirt after a hard day, a lonely day, or this day every year helped her - it was less frequent than it once was however some days Jane couldn't avoid it. "I miss you!" she said again as she ran her right palm down over the worn fabric of the light blue jeans. Her vision became blurry as the tears welled up, she closed her eyes, holding them closed for a moment trying to recall the feeling of her loves arms around her - she couldn't recall it -it had been too long since she had been in her arms. Opening her eyes a large silent tears roll down her cheek.

She wiped the tear away with the hand she had ran over the jeans, then she turned it, palm up and ran her thumb over the tattoo across her wrist.

"I'm sorry… I... forgot" the statement was thick with shame, she looked up to see Frankie stood in front of her. The anger he held from before replaced now. Jane didn't say anything. She didn't need to. moving over on the step so she was now closer to the wall she made space for him to take a seat next to her. He took the offered space, sitting down he let a silence fall between them for a moment. Then he reached out and took her hand, "I'm an absolute asshole and she'd have been the first to let me know that" He laughed sadly, Jane mirrored him, the tears came again along with the laughter, they were silent and few, but they were heavy.

"Yeah she would" she nodded in agreement. He squeezed her hand in reassurance and then let go.

"Why the hell would you agree to do this meal for me today?"

"She would have wanted it this way. You know she always wanted you married off"

"Only so I would stop being the third wheel with you guys"

Again Jane laughed, but this time only briefly. She didn't talk about her often. There was a guilt that was carried with her about this, as if she was letting her go. Moving on. In reality through talking about it made it more real and Jane found it easier to go through her days believing it was just a nightmare she'd wake up from. "It's hard…" she explained, "Every goddamn day, getting up is so hard!"

He didn't say anything, there was nothing to say. She lent forward and placed her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

They sat for a few more moments before Jane took a deep breath and composed herself.

"You need to go" she tells him, sitting up straight she drew back the front she hid behind so well, "We have two hours before they show up here - i need you to grab the wine, and grab Pop from his hotel. I doubt he knows where my house is... we don't want him getting lost"

Frankie nodded his head, leaning over he kissed my cheek- not a common exchange between us - but today, a needed exchange of his reassurance of support. "by the way...Ma is on her way over to help you finish up the cooking" He offered as he stood up to his feet.

"Police my cooking you mean...Jesus"

"Would you rather pick up Pop?"

"Not a chance. Get back here before your In Laws show up…" Jane warn him as he walked away "I could just about deal with our folks … I don't need your in laws in the mix without backup thank you very much"

He was a few meters toward the house when he faltered, stopping he turned back to me, "About this morning… i was…"

"An asshole.. we covered it...remember!"

He nodded his head "Yeah...i remember. See ya" And with that he continued to walk away.

"Afternoon"

"Hey... you sleep well?" Jane greeted looking up from the tin foil she had been origaming to make a cover for the chicken that was about to go into the oven. With a shrug she decided it would do and placed the hat atop of the dish the bird was housed in and wrinkled the edges to seal it in place. she was sure her Ma, Angela, would disapprove anyway and re-do it.

"Very well thank you. Can I be any help?"

"No assistance needed, everything is prepped and ready to go." Jane stated proudly. She was thankful she had managed to get it all done before Angela walked through the door offering constructive criticism. I lifted the roasting dish and carried it over to the pre-heated oven slipping it in.

"Well how about a coffee?"

"Sounds like a plan…but take a seat… I can grab you a coffee"

Rachel put her hand up in protest, "not happening… you are putting on a feast for my whole family… the least I can do is make the coffee"

"Well i wouldn't say a feast... hopefully an edible meal... " Jane returned to her seat at the breakfast bar and watched as Rachel navigated herself around her kitchen. Rachel had been staying with her for over two weeks now. Jane had become accustomed to a not so quiet house in this time. Became used to a background noise that over the last two years had become alien. She forgot how much she missed it.

"You were up early today...everything ok?" Jane asked. She had noticed as she had lay in her own bed unable to sleep that her house guest had gotten up and left a little after 6:30am.

"Yeah just… couldn't sleep" There was a little hesitation before she continued "You know… wedding planning for the sister, family coming into town... that sort of thing keeping me up. Going for a run helps"

Jane nodded, "Yeah i know what you mean" she was unconvinced however that the issues listed were the only things keeping rachel awake. "Listen about last night... sorry it got so deep… our simple drink...it turned into..."

"it was fine" she cut Jane off, having filled the coffee pot she pressed the on button and left it brew, turning to face the brunette, leaning herself on the counter, "I enjoyed it"

Jane laughed "I doubt you enjoyed me using you as a therapist"

"I enjoyed it" she repeated, "I prefer the term friend... over therapist tho"

Jane let that sink in for a moment, she had been expecting their exchange this morning to be a little more awkward than it was turning out to be. Last night the weight of today's anniversary took its toll and Jane had opened up more than she had done to most people in the last few years, looking into her eyes Jane could see the sincerity "Noted..."

"So... seen as you brought it up… how you holding up today?"

"I'm…" Jane was about to say fine but for some reason Rachels presence made it difficult to lie, she felt like she could see through the barriers, "I'm ok i suppose. Easier not to talk about it if thats ok"

"Sure…"

Jane found herself looking back down at the tattoo across her wrist. she then listened as Rachel had moved back into the task of making the coffees, she opened cabinets, pulled out mugs, respected my wishes to not dig any deeper.

The journalist in Rachel had a thousand and one questions she wanted to ask. She'd have loved to pull out a notepad and pen and really get into it all - the friend in her made the coffee and then she changed the subject. "So...the parents are meeting today… you nervous" she asked Jane as she set down the coffees.

"I'm nervous to have my folks in the same room i'm just hoping the focus is on Frankie and I escape un scathed"

"Jesus...we're all grown adults worried about a simple meal with our parents."

"I'll always feel fifteen sat around a table with the folks" Jane explained.

Rachel seemed to nod in understanding, then she changed inject again "I… got a call this morning... Dan can't make this afternoon.""

"Oh really... that's a shame" "

"I hope it doesn't mess any of your plans up" She apologise to Jane in a manner that gave the host of the meal way more credit, as if she had accurately catered for a certain number of people, the reality is she cooked in bulk and hoped they didn't run out…. Left overs were welcome.

"No… not at all... I mean… I always overcook anyway so just more leftovers. Is everything ok?" Last Jane had heard Rachels husband was going to be making an appearance this afternoon, he was heading in from New York. The wedding was in three days.

"Yeah everything's fine...just work - something came up - he will head down Friday ready for the wedding Saturday"

"Well can't be helped… I mean I know more than anyone what it's like having work get in the way."

Before anymore can be said the front door to the house opened, "Hello…"

"Kitchen Ma" Jane greeted from her seat. Looking back over to Rachel she smirked "Let the fun begin"

Rachel laughed.

"Hello girls" Angela Rizzoli rounded the doorway into the kitchen clutching large bouquets of flowers in arm.

"Jesus Ma… you leave any at the florist" standing to her feet and headed toward her she took one of the boques there was then enough room for her to lean in and kiss her mother's cheek.

"Well… i wanted to make this place a little more...homely"

Jane took the criticism in her stride and rolled her eyes as she placed them on the countertop, "Yes god forbid my home stay pollen free . Lilly's are exactly what my hayfever was missing" she responded sarcastically.

"Afternoon Mrs Rizzoli" Rachel greeted lightly. She seemed to be enjoying this exchange between Jane and her mother.

"Oh please...less of the Mrs dear...just Angela is fine"

"Sure…" the two had met a few times over the past two weeks, Rachel had been told repeatedly to drop the Mrs, "Sorry habit" she explained, "Coffee Angela...just made"

"By whom" she eyed the pot suspiciously as she set the remaining flowers down.

"Don't worry Ma… i've not been near the pot."

"Sure then... a coffee would be great. It's like mud, her coffee" Angela explained with a look of disgust.

"Well on that note...Ma you know where the vases are help yourself… i'm going to head up and get a shower and changed"

"Yes..get out of them old rags and...I'll bring some life to this place... will feel less like a funeral and more like a celebration that way"

Jane had just reached the kitchen door when her Ma's off the cuff comments halted her, it felt like a physical blow to the chest. Her hand reached up and steadied herself against the door frame, her mind filtered back to the time two years back when her living room had been filled with family dressed in black, waiting for the cars to take them to the cemetery. "Yeah... something like that" Jane mumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

"Maura where are you?" Jane had showered, changed and attempted to tame her hair, still there was no sign of the usually very punctual Doctor.

"Jane I'm sorry … this morning's Autopsy ran over. I just finished up. I will change and head on over."

"Well you better hurry Ma is already downstairs rearranging my life and Pop is on his way according to Frankie's updates… if the in-laws show up also I don't think I can take it"

Maura laughed softly, "it won't be as bad as you think...honest...I will be with you in half hour."

"Ok…see you then" ending the call Jane stood up from her bed, a quick glance in the full length mirror and she was happy with what she saw. She had opted for a pair of fitted jeans with a simple black, sleeveless top and a pair of heels to top it off. The heels she hoped would only last for the greeting of the in-laws so she appeared to have her life together, soon after she planned to discarded them. The bonus of having this shindig at her home. Not that she had much of a choice as her mother wouldn't host as that would mean Frank senior sitting round her dinner table which since the divorce we not an option.

Jane had ventured back down the stairs and had been happy to see her mother had took over, she even noticed that the chicken had been re-wrapped. Having set the dining room table there was now nothing left for Jane to do but await the arrival of the remaining guests.

"Well update from my mother they are on route" Rachel walked into the kitchen phone in hand. "You need anything else"

"No we are all ready to go."

"Your look amazing"

Jane was a little taken aback but managed a smile with a shrug, "thanks… makeup helps." Jane was thankful that Rachel wasn't treating her any different since she opened up last night. She wasn't treating her like she was broken. "And heels"

"Jane…" Rachel's tone had changed a little now, she spoke lower clearly not wanting to be over heard, "about last night…I'm sorry… you know if I have caused any problems"

Shaking her head Jane stopped Rachel from continuing, she moved toward the counter which separated the two of them, "you haven't caused me any problems… my ma in there rearranging my set table is a problem, you, me and last night … it wasn't a problem. It was unexpected… but…"

Rachel offered a smile of appreciation, "I heard Frankie earlier… your colleagues they … think we slept together"

Jane again stopped the other woman "Rach the guys can talk all they want. It's just them giving me a hard time...and that's fine but Frankie walking in here earlier talking like that… he crossed a line. I'm sorry you heard him and I'm sorry if it's made you feel awkward at all."

"I don't… Jane I'm a big girl myself...and… I kissed you. I crossed that line."

"I didn't exactly stop you"

Rachel nodded "we're good tho yeah?"

"We are fine" Jane agreed.

Before anymore could be said the front door shutting closed and the sound of heels against the wooden floor interrupt them. Maura walked into the kitchen, handbag over one lower arm and box held in both hands. "Afternoon both"

"It should be morning that you showed up" Jane fired back as she sounds to face the blond.

"Trust me when you get the autopsy report tomorrow you will be glad I remained at work later than planned."

"Afternoon Maura" Rachel greeted, they had shared a few meals in the time Rachel had been staying in Boston, Jane and her family and friends really had gone out their way to make Rachel and now her family welcome. "So is that the famous cheesecake that Jane's been going on about."

"It is...as requested" Maura placed the box on the kitchen counter

"You're a life saviour" leaning over Jane lifted the box to reveal its contents, looked as good as Jane recalled, something then registered with he brunette she looked up from the cheesecake to the Dr "You better not have put these in the autopsy fridge." she growled lowly.

The look on the doctor's face, the avoidance of eye contact and the nervous attempt to change subject was all the tell Jane needed. Jane stamped her foot like a child and whined, "Maura… I can't give our new in-laws to be autopsy cheesecake!"

Rachel laughter at the exchange.

"It was fine… I assure you...it had a shelf all of its own!"

"Oh that makes it all better… was it the shelf above or below the eyeballs and brain matter"

"I have neither of those stored in the fridge" Maura advised with a matter of fact tone with a hint of annoyance.

"Not the point!" Jane countered, shutting the lid and taking the box she walked with the box around the kitchen counter and deposited it in a non medical fridge. "Can I get you a drink? Either of you… White wine?"

"That would be perfect...thankyou" Maura responded slipping her jacket off.

"Sounds great"

"Two wines coming up"

Jane placed the two glasses on the countertop and went about pouring herself a glass of water.

"Well the parents are only a few minutes out… I'm just going to go freshen up." Taking the glass of wine Rachel excused herself.

"do you need any help in here?" Maura enquired

"Nope Ma took over so all is in good hands...I'm just glad you're here now to help coordinate the social side of this gathering" Jane explained as she placed the water bottle back in the fridge.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Exhausted by my family already"

"I mean about…"

"I know" Jane cut in. She broke eye contact and looked down, she shrugged her shoulders. "It's hard some minutes of the day it hits me and others I don't think about it others." She explained honestly. "It good to have this as a distraction I suppose"

Reaching over the counter Maura placed her hand on top of Janes "Well you know where I am when you need to talk"

Jane smiled, "thanks"

"Maura dear… " Both Jane and Maura were pulled out of their exchange by Angela entering the kitchen. As Angela approached and offered a kiss against the cheek of of the doctor greeting her Jane straightened her back, took a breath and pushed back the emotions back that the brief exchange with her friend had brought to the surface. "so glad you could make it."

"Even though she's late…" Jane smirked as she gathered her water, "I will be in the garden... why don't you tell Ma about the cheesecake Maura?" Jane called over her shoulder, she smirked as she left the kitchen.

Rachel watched from the kitchen window, the exchange of both sets of parents seemed to be going were all currently sat around the garden table sharing a drink together with numerous stories being shared of their children's antics throughout their youth. Next to the sets of parents were Jane, Frankie and Maura they were laughing with ease. From the surface it appeared like the perfect family set up - Rachel knew from experience there was always more beneath the surface of perfection.

"You hiding out in here all afternoon?"

Turning she was met with her sister, "just taking a breather"

"Yeah I know how you feel" Amy was the older of the two by a few years but they were close. "So Dan is a no show?"

"Not now Amy" Rachel dismissed her, she glanced back out to the garden.

With a shrug Amy complied with the request not to dig further, right now anyway. "So how has it been living with Jane"

"Yeah great…" a smile came over her, a genuine smile, "you know I could get used to this Boston life. They are good people"

Dinner was served and was going down well with everyone, a compliment had even come Janes way from Angela. The conversation flowed as well as the wine had been and Jane was happy to look at the far end of the table to see her younger brother laughing as he chatted with Amy's parents and their own Ma, holding onto Amy's hand sweetly.

"Anyway Janie… I thought you were going to visit me in New York!" Frank senior was sat opposite her. He was happy this afternoon, beer in hand and successfully acting like the head of his family. This was what he was best at playing perfect family, too bad he was far from the perfect father. Since the divorce from Angela, Frank Senior had been in and out of their world's. More out than in but still loved to have strong opinions on how they should and shouldn't live their lives. Over the years Jane had found it easier to let him live in the world he created in his head where he till saw himself as head of the family. It wasn't like she had to live in his world very long once or twice a year at most and the odd special occasion.

"Yeah sorry Pa. Had a lot on … you know...works been crazy" she looked from him back down to her plate, hoping he wouldn't press on with this line of conversation.

"You…" he shook his head, "if your not chasing lunatics around this city getting shot you're cooped up all alone in this house. Get out Janie… live a little"

"Sure Pa" she brushed off his comments, it wasn't like she searched out any damn asshole with a gun as a pastime and being alone in this house had never been in her plans.

"I mean you used to love a Beer with your old Pa, it's been too long"

"It's not like you live down the road anymore Pa, not like I can pop in on a Sunday to watch the game is it. Plus… I haven't drank in nearly a Year… remember" she held her glass of water up as proof.

"oh yeah…. You still on that health kick?"

Same old Pa, Jane thought, her struggle for sobriety had had its up and it's very big downs over the last ten months, her father's brush off as a health kick was a blow. She did not want this to escalate though she could feel the anger building up in her chest. "Yeah, that health kick"

She placed her folk down, her appetite becoming less with each passing exchange between herself and her father.

Maura discreetly moved her hand to Janes knee. She knew Jane well enough to know that despite the light hearted back and forth it may have seemed to the other dinner party guests it was cutting deeper into the brunette. Maura had been about to change the subject however found Frank directing his next comments to herself anyway. "i mean Maura... you're a doctor, don't you agree...My little girls too skinny. She needs to worry less about the calories and start enjoying life."

Jane wasn't going to have this play out Infront of their guests, her father's drink tally was increasing and with that Frank senior was turning into the father she remembered living with "Pa I'm 32. Definitely no little girl…" Jane began to protest.

"I think she's great…" Maura cut in on Jane now, a protectiveness to her tone that caught both Frank senior and Jane off guard. Jane found her focus drawn to the manor in which Maura held herself, her posture had straightened and Maura spoke with confidence.

Frank laughed "Well how much are you paying the good Doctor here Kiddo. If You keep up with the praise of my Daughter Maura maybe one day I will be Marrying her off too."

For the second time today Jane had practically been floored by words spoken by her parents. Married. She should have been happily married right now and her son should have been here with them causing havoc . Jane shook her head she looked over to her younger brother who himself had become tense - she could tell by the look on his face he feared a Rizzoli family row was about to unfold. She stood to her feet, "not up to this today Pa. Just leave it!" the table had fallen quieter, the other conversation settled as the focus was draw to Frank and Jane

"leave what… I'm only messing with you Jane. You lost your sense of humour since I been in New York too?"

"Looks that way doesn't it…" she looked around t the table "on that note I think it's time for desert" she smiled trying to brush past the awkwardness that had settled, "and I'm sure more wine"

She exited the dining room, a lump had formed in her throat. By the time she stepped into the kitchen her hand, which she had balled into a fist shook with rage. Her eyes filled again with tears. A deep stabbing came into her chest. She made it to the countertop and her hands gripped the edge as she held herself up.

Walking into the kitchen Maura's heart broke seeing Jane looking so broken. She wasted no time in stepping in and taking control, the strength was faltering in Jane and Maura had been witness to enough of the Detectives relapses to know when she was walking dangerously close to the edge. Maura moved to Janes side, placing her arm around her lower back in a supportive manner, her hand settled on Janes hip. "You're done… go" she spoke softly.

"i'm fine" Jane protested. Her tone indicated otherwise.

"No…. you're not… nothing right now is fine with you."

"I just need five...honest. I can't leave. My Ma and pop in the same room definitely requires a mediator… I mean Frankie… he would…."

"He will understand." Maura was firm, "go in there, tell them something came up at work and head over to mine. I will stay, I will help out, I will meditate and I will meet you later."

Jane knew Maura was right, she was on the edge of breaking, she closed her eyes and took another calming breath,then she turned to face the Doctor "I don't deserve a friend like you Maura"

Now it was Maura's turn to swallow back her own emotion. The term friend paled in comparison to the feelings Maura truly held for Jane, not that she had admitted out loud to anyone, and she even struggled to admitted to herself but over the last six months her feelings had definitely changed toward Jane, not that Maura admitted it out loud and she had only recently found herself acknowledging these feelings herself.

Maura took a step back, she needed to create a distance between them, she also knew she was not winning this argument with Jane "If you won't leave can you at least take a breather. Preferably away from your Father"

"That I can do… can you top the wine up and buy me some time"

"Sure"


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

"Well we survived" Frankie sighed as he fell back to the sofa next to Amy, his arm finding its way around her so that she settled into his side, her head finding his chest as she let out her own sigh of relief.

"Thanks for doing all this today Jane, we really appreciate it." Amy offered.

"Yeah Janie we owe you one" Frankie followed up, he knew how much she'd held her tongue today to ensure the meal went without issue. He lost count of the amount of times she would have been well in her right to kick them all from her home – starting with the way he spoke with her this morning.

"No problem...I mean you're family now...it's your madness too" Jane directed the last part to Amy. She was say on the opposite sofa to the couple, coffee in hand, she looked and felt as worn out as she usually felt after a double shift. "little brother you owe me more than one tho…" their parents had filtered away in the last hour leaving only Jane, Frankie, Amy, Rachel and Maura sat in the living room. "Do not sit me next to Pa at this wedding." She warned, "I'm mean...do you two have any crazy uncles you need someone to keep an eye on….I'm your girl"

Both Rachel and Amy laughed, it was Rachel who cut in, "you don't want that trust me"

"We can sit her next to Dan she can keep an eye on him" Amy focused on her sister now, "you heard off him yet?"

Shaking her head she answered "in meetings all day… I will check in later" Rachel clearly didn't wish to discuss her husband right now, Jane picked up on this, she knew from their previous evening that things between Rachel and Dan weren't great but the manor in which Rachel acted upon him being brought up throughout the day led the brunette to feel there was something more to it.

"I think we should all head down to The Dirty Robber … finish this night off" Frankie suggested – otherwise I'm going to fall asleep right here and now and there is so much of the night left."

"As fun as that sounds I could do with an early night." Jane was in no fit state to leave the house, over tired and emotionally drained, "Mind if I give it a miss?"

"Well maybe a break from us is what you need" Rachel stood up, "won't be as fun as last night tho..." she winked tucking her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

Jane stayed on the sofa unmoved, looking up at the brunette. She couldn't help but recall the ease with which she forgot about her reality when she went out with her last night. "Well I will make up for it at the wedding….I promise" she pulled her attention from Rachels gaze looking to Amy and Frankie. The look on her brothers face was shooting her a warning she decided to ignore "go on kids get out of here...have fun"

Frankie wasn't the only one who had picked up on the exchange, Maura silently observed the two. It resulted in an unease settling in her chest, a bitter taste rising into her mouth. She lifted her wine glass and sipped the red wine to combat it.

Amy stood next, she didn't need to be told again, the days stress needed to be released and she was sure finishing the evening in the bar would successfully offer this. "Maura will you be joining us?"

"Oh not tonight… I have an early meeting… and I'm quiet attached to this sofa right now" the Doctor explained, she was sat at the other end of the sofa from Jane, her shoes had been kicked off and her legs folded under her.

"Don't blame you." Amy lent down kissing Jane on the cheek and then moved to Maura, "enjoy the rest of your evening, and again thank you for today"

Frankie lent to his sister giving a quick kiss to the cheek, "we will talk tomorrow"

She knew from his tone it wasn't a choice. "Just enjoy your night yeah"

As they filtered from the room the remaining farewells having being exchanged the front door finally closed shut and Maura and Jane were alone. Closing her eyes Jane lay her head back on the sofa, "Jesus what a day"

Maura observed the brunette, not speaking; she was still processing not only the exchange between Rachel and the detective but the feeling of jealousy she had no right to feel. She tried to regain composure and control herself, she had to be the friend Jane needed her to be right now, "how are you holding up"

"Exhausted" Jane shrugged, opening her eyes she was met with the concerned gaze, "exhaustion sums me up right now"

"Well do you want to talk through anything?" Jane didn't respond, she didn't know if talking would help, "or...do you want some space? I can head off home…"

Jane shook her head no, "I'm…" she stopped herself, breaking eye contact she struggled for the right words so she switched her approach, "do you want to go?"

"I want to make sure you're ok"

Jane nodded her head slowly, looking out infront of her – she allowed a few moments of silence to pass before making the decision to speak. "My Ma she spoke to me after dinner. Cornered me in the kitchen – she finally remembered" Jane shook her head in disbelief.

"I'm proud of you"

"proud of what?"

"That you're fighting the urge to self-destruct Jane"

"I'm not fighting very hard right now" she admitted "i want to drink myself away from what I'm feeling… I have wanted to all day…."

"Have you? Drank?" it wouldn't have been the first time she had slipped back and if Jane was to give in to the urge Maura could understand it being today.

Jane shook her head no. "...last year I got through today by drinking till I blacked out… a year later I spend the day watching my Pa drink till he blacks out. How things change in a year huh?"

"For the best tho… don't you think?"

Jane shrugged, "if I'm honest I'm not sure. I mean I just go from case to case keeping busy. Not really a life is it?" Jane closed her eyes and lent her head back into the sofa. She had enough of talking about herself, of dwelling on her feelings, "how was your date the other night… did _Dr.I-speak-french_ show you the night of your life?"

"night of my life...not how I'd describe it. Nicholas was fine company"

"Fine company? What the hell does that mean?" Jane laughed.

"He ordered for me!" Maura wrinkled her nose in disgust, "he talked about marriage. He…"

"...sounds dull. Tell me there isn't a second date," Jane cut in.

"Definitely not...we didn't make it past desert" she clarified

"Jesus… I need to find you someone – you're having no luck on your own" Jane mused, "I can't keep hearing about these dates… they sound hideous" Maura didn't respond, she fell slightly into her own thoughts, she looked down into her wine. "Are you okay…" Jane asked, her head tilted to observe her friend, "You seem off today. A little quieter than usual"

"I'm fine…" Maura answered, "Just a lot on my mind. Work and all" she shrugged.

"Well as much as I appreciate you babysitting me… please feel free to head home. I'm not great company so I wouldn't blame you"

"Not a chance… I'm crashing in the spare room tonight… I already took my overnight bag out the car earlier and placed it up there"

Jane couldn't have been more appreciative "thanks… you're a good friend Maura" she tilted her head observing the blond, "How about… I make us some tea – and we watch conspiracy theory documentaries and you can offer unlimited commentary without me giving you a hard time."

"Agreed – except - I'll make the tea -you set up the tv." Maura stood to her feet and headed to the kitchen "You're having decaf. You need to sleep tonight" she called back as she walked from the sitting room.

* * *

"Morning"

"God... I forget how happy you are in the mornings…coffee?" Jane growled sleepily as she shuffled into her kitchen as she fastened her belt, and secured her gun to her hip.

Maura continued to skim over the newspaper she had in hand as she pushed her half drank mug of coffee to the detective. "Have the rest of this – waiting for the second pot to heat up"

"The second" Jane frowned, "How long you been up?" She asked as she took the mug without argument. The coffee was tepid but strong so it would do. She drank the remaining coffee without hesitation.

Maura looked up from her paper to the detective, "I have been down here about an hour and a half"

"ugh…well … I feel like I've been hit by a truck" Jane explained, "Screw this…lets head in early and stop off for a good coffee on the way. I can't sit around waiting for that. Plus – my Ma is on her way over said she's clean up the place after last night so I don't want to be here for when she walks in"

"Okay…but we're not going to the diner…"

"Fine… where ever you want to go as long as I get a double shot in my coffee!" She wasn't going to argue this morning. "…and as long as I get a donut… I don't want a healthy breakfast you get me"

"Jane… there's too much sugar in…"

"Don't want to hear it Maura" Jane cut her off. "Car… now… I'm driving"

Before they could step out the front door both of their phones began to ring, "Looks like its going to be a drive through"

Jane shot aura a look as she answered her cell – "Rizzoli"

Maura followed suite, picking up her ringing phone, "Isles"

* * *

The pair of them had pulled up to a set of automated gates – an entrance to a large estate. "Its going to be one of those shifts" Jane muttered under her breath. Luckily they had gotten the much needed coffee into the detective on the way over otherwise the shift would have been worse than Jane was already expecting.

She wound down her window and held her badge up to the officer who was standing by the control panel. "Detective Rizzoli, Dr Isles" she announced.

"Detective" the young officer nodded, "Go on in… all the way to the end of the drive – take a left to the main house"

"The main house" Jane repeated. The young officer nodded. Jane turned to Maura, "Did you hear that…the main house!"

Maura smiled, looking from Jane to the road in front of them she repeated "It is going to be one of those shifts"

"Very funny" Jane muttered. The day before I take off on annual leave too…. No doubt there will be rich folk that require my undivided attention. Forget about the other ten cases on my desk"

"I knew we should have got you that second coffee"

"Morning - what do we have here?" Jane asked as she walked into the entrance of the main house toward a sombre looking Korsak.

"Morning you two" he acknowledged the two with a nod as they entered. Jane began to put rubber gloves on.

"Morning Sargent" Maura smiled politely. "I see I was requested especially for this one…do you have any idea who by?"

"Not really – all I know is linked to someone up high...the mayor put in a call especially. Friends in high places"

"Always is when I have to be let through gates like that" Jane indicated with a nod of the head in the direction of the driveway they had just come up, "I told you it would be one of those shifts"

"Well it goes without saying but 100% by the book – we have eyes on us!" Korsak clarified – then he turned and led the two through the house. "So an initial view of the scene… the place is a mess. Looks to me like a domestic situation – half of last night's meal thrown around the place. Bottle of red smashed of the Livingroom wall by the looks of it – she's in a bad way. Was found by the gardener this morning – 7:30am call came in to us. No one else at the property."

"Husband? Boyfriend? Children?"

"There is a husband – location unknown"

It has been a while since the sight of a crime scene had taken her aback but as she stepped into the living room the sight of the woman's body was the worst she had seen in a long while. "Jesus…" she had been beaten unrecognisable; she'd been chocked with a dressing gown cord. Jane actually looked away for a moment to gain composure. "… tell me someone's working on finding us the husband!"


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

"He did this…I'm telling you Korsak" Jane was sat on the edge of her desk – frustration an understatement. Her arms were folded over her chest, her back rigid.

"Look you don't have to convince me… but we need the evidence. We have nothing – and the interview with the husband didn't exactly nail this."

"His alibi is bogus. I'm not denying he is sleeping with the secretary but he sure as hell wasn't with her last night. I showed him pictures of his wife, her face caved in and see how he reacts. He shrugged his god damn shoulders!"

"Jane… we need evidence." Vince looked up from his computer, over the top of his glasses. "Why don't you go down and see if Maura has anything"

"I just called her… she's still working on the reports. There is a back log down there…could be a couple of days till we get everything through" Jane pushed her hand through her hair, drawing it back from her face. "… hopefully she will find something that can help us."

"Well – I will go speak with the Captain and let him know the good news" Vince stood from his desk – "I'm sure he has people he needs to update"

Jane just nodded. "Well – until then I'm going to have some uniforms keep tabs on the husband – make sure he doesn't go missing."

"Jane" Vince warned, "By the book…"

"Yeah, yeah… by the book" Jane reached for her phone from her pocket, "I'm putting in a call and then going to head out for a bite to eat – back later"

* * *

"Double cheese burger and fries – for you" The plate was placed in front of the detective.

"Thanks Mike" Jane wasted no time in digging into the fries.

"And…pasta for yourself" he placed the second plate in front of Maura.

"Thank you"

"Enjoy you two." Mike walked away from the table leaving the two of them together.

"Thank god for this place" Jane lifted the burger to take a large bite. Chewing at speed she then continued to speak "Makes a bad case bearable"

"A salad wouldn't harm once in while Jane" Maura commented as she looked at the greasy burger in front of the brunette. "And… a run…"

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Jane barked as she lifted the burger and took a bite.

Maura shook her head, "No you're defiantly not fat. You don't eat enough to be fat… you need food in your fridge to make you fat!" Maura took a bite of her own lunch, then continued, "The runs… they result in the release of chemicals that would raise your mood."

"Ok you sound like my mother…enough!"

"I'm just saying… a happy Jane is a more bearable Jane to be around!" Maura smirked over the table.

"A happy Jane is one who gets to eat a burger without being lectured. Plus… you said I can get them happy chemicals in a much more exciting way… that would usually involve me at least getting a nice meal before" Jane winked.

"Well if you fancy a nice meal… I can assist. What do you say… tomorrow night… we can celebrate our first day been on annual leave before this wedding madness begins."

"I never say no to a decent meal! It's a date" Jane agreed "I'm going do my best to sort out the case files for the hand over this afternoon and then I can at least enjoy my time off. A good week or so without thinking about work is what I need… I think"

Maura nodded "Yes … it will do you some good."

"You know what would do me some good… getting the case from this morning moving forward. Please tell me you're going to have something for me by this afternoon"

I'm just waiting on the results coming through… someone above my pay grade pushed the case through as a priority. I'm not sure why this is getting so much attention from the mayor's office but…it is…"

"I just need the evidence to prove he did this… that bastard sat smirking across the table in the interview earlier. I'm telling you it's him!"

Maura could feel the anger levels raise from Jane's side of the table, "Listen…as soon as I get them …you get them"

"Thank you" Looking over Maura's shoulder Jane noticed the door to the bar open and her younger brother walking in. With a groan she rolled her eyes, "Oh god…here we go"

"I knew I'd find you here…"

Jane didn't respond but Maura did turn "Afternoon Frankie" she moved up in her side of the booth so he could take a seat next to her. "Take a seat"

He did." Afternoon Maura…"

"Do you care to join us for a bite to eat" Maura continued to be welcoming.

"He doesn't" Jane answered for him, "I'm not in the mood right now Fankie"

"I gathered that considering you haven't responded to one of my many texts this morning. We said we'd talk … we need to talk"

"We never said anything. You said we'd talk" Jane corrected.

"Look… we need that chat about what the hell you're playing at"

"Frankie" Jane warned, "If you utter a god damn word about Rachel I'm likely to give you a black eye just before your wedding. I'm still not over the way your burst into my kitchen yesterday…."

The mention of Rachel had drawn Maura's interest.

"I know somethings going on between you two…"

"She is a grown woman Frankie…and so am I. Whatever happens…or doesn't happen between the two of us is nothing to do with you"

"She's married!"

"Leave me Frankie" Jane warned, "I don't need this right now"

"I don't need this ever…" he responded back, "I'm marrying her sister. I don't need a life time of awkward family gathering because you couldn't keep it in your pants"

"Jesus Christ… I just wanted to eat a damn burger... between you and my personal trainer here I'm about ready to go back to work…" She pushed her plate away from her and turned to her brother, "I'm sure you have more to worry about with your wedding coming up next week than who I am or am not sleeping with!"

"I'm just worried about the guy's big mouths after a few drinks and Rachel's husband hearing all about your night out together at the wedding!"

"Ok… not that it has anything to do with you… we went out… I got talking about my life or pathetic excuse of a life, she got talking about hers… she made me laugh… she made me feel like a normal god damn person not a fucking tragic mess…we had a good night. That's all you need to know. The guys see me with any girl around this place and start chatting… you know that… they need to worry about their wives and less about who I'm taking home" Jane was officially off her food, "You know what…I got a lot of work to do… I'm heading off. Sorry Maura." It was more than clear Jane was infuriated, she took enough cash from her jean pocket and through it down on the table in front of her, "Worry about your wedding…and not about me…got it!" she directed this at Frankie now.

Standing from the booth she began to walk away, but something stopped her, she turned and walked back to the table, "By the way…if you ever walk into my house again and talk to me the way you did yesterday we are going to have very big problems. I'm just about managing to wake up in the morning and lead a normal life… how I manage to get through my days is down to me. I don't need you monitoring what I do" with that said she didn't give Frankie the chance to respond, she turned her back and left the bar.

* * *

Jane had gone back to the station briefly after the exchange between Frankie and herself at the bar – she finished up the handover within the hour, her mind racing. She felt as if the walls of the station were closing in on her and she knew she needed out. Cleaning it with Korsak she arranged for her annual leave started a few hours earlier than agreed.

Now she was sat on her drive way, in the front seat of her car, her hands were squeezing tightly on the steering wheel – her knuckles white. She felt a cold sweat settling on the back of her neck and down her back. "Jesus Christ" she muttered. Looking to the passenger seat there was a bottle of vodka she'd just picked up from the store, she then looked at the missed calls on her mobile – Frankie and Maura. Both had left messages also. Jane didn't care.

Taking the bottle and phone from the seat she opened her car door and stepped out. She was home.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

Over an hour she'd been sat, in her own kitchen, vodka on the counter top. It remained un-drank. She'd been fighting the urge to give in since walking through her front door. The top had been unscrewed multiple times, and then replaced, only to be unscrewed again.

She'd gone up to her bedroom, attempting to shift the urge from her mind she'd taken a shower, she'd changed her clothes. She'd turned on the music system that had speakers wired up throughout the house. The volume was up high.

Again an aim at distracting herself- it hadn't worked – now she was sat back in the kitchen, back in front of the vodka, the music still playing out though the house. He mobile sat next to the bottle and began to ring again –Maura had called a few times and left a message or two and a text had come through from Frankie – that remained unread also.

"Fuck… Fuck…" Jane ran her rights hand up and down her left arm – her nails dragging over the bare skin – he head spinning. She tapped her foot over and over again against the cross bar on the foot stool. Reaching forward she took her phone, the texts and missed calls were sat untouched – they would remain that way – she began to call a number she wouldn't usually call. Lifting the phone to her ear with her right hand she used her left to reach out for the remote on the counter top and muted the music. The silence was an abrupt contrast that took Jane a few moments to come around to.

The dialling tone rang out another two of three times before the answer – "Well kiddo – didn't think I'd be hearing from you this afternoon"

"Hey… pa look…I got off work early…wondered if you were around."

"Sure am…just waiting for a call from our Tommy… he's getting into town today…meeting him down at the usual. Fancy coming along"

Jane thought a moment – she could still back out of this. It was as she was sat weighing up the options for a few moments that the front door opened and the familiar voice rang out. "Hey… just me"

"Janie…you still there?"

Jumping to her feet, still on the call, Jane took hold of the Vodka bottle and moved around the kitchen counter to the other side where she placed it in the lower cupboard – just in time for Rachel to walk in. " Err yeah…" Jane responded to Frank "Sure … I will see you later Pa!" Cutting off the call she placed the phone on the counter.

"Afternoon" Rachel greeted, "Sorry if I interrupted the call"

"Hey…oh no…just Pa." Jane looked over the woman, she was dressed in a fitted black pencil skirt and heels, a fitted shirt that complemented her figure and her laptop bag over her shoulder. She looked exhausted. "You been sorting wedding stuff out today… or…"

Rachel caught on to what had Jane a little confused as she looked down over her attire- "Oh…" She shook her head – "Bit from A bit from B" she explained. Having moved further into the kitchen she placed her laptop bag on the counter top – "Started out finishing up some stuff for the wedding spent a few hours this morning with your Ma and my sister… then had a meeting over this way for work. Taking advantage of a few opportunities that seem to have come my way…"

Jane nodded, still admiring the woman over the counter, "well…do you need a break from the wedding and work?"

"Always. You all finished up with work now till after the wedding?"

Jane nodded. "Yes… which is a bonus…I need a break … fancy heading out for the evening?"

"Yeah… ok… I'll go get changed." Rachel noticed the redness to Janes arm but chose not to mention it for now, looking from the brunettes arm back up to her pale complexion there was clearly something a little off with Jane right now. "Give me few minutes?"

"No problem- I'll meet you in the car" Jane watched Rachel leave the room she couldn't help but allow her eyes to linger – Rachel was a beautiful woman. Her anxiety lifted a little. This was better – not sitting in the darkness drowning her sorrows, she was being sociable, building on her friendship, allowing new people into her world. Wasn't that what they told her she should be doing? Her shrink would approve of this surly… and as an added bonus she was going to be spending some time with family. This was the right move.

Moving to the fridge Jane was sure there would be beer left over from yesterday – she was right. Taking out the bottle, taking her keys from the window sill next to the back door and her leather jacket from the stool where she'd thrown it on her way in Jane exited into the garden. She walked over and used to garden table to lean against, opening the bottle she began to take a mouthful of the could liquid – a long drink that calmed her instantly. She felt her left fist release – she felt herself loosen up. Opening her eyes, the bottle already half empty she looked up to the top of the garden at the seating area. She only held her gaze there for a few moments before she had too look away. Guilt? Hurt? She wasn't sure right now why it was so hard to look up there and she didn't want to drill into her feelings around that too much at this moment. She began to drink from the beer again as she took her phone from her jean pocket at opened the texts from Maura –

' _Jane just wanted to check you were okay after lunch earlier… heard you have headed home from Korsack. Call me. Mx '_

' _Just checking in… I can come over if you fancy a night in?'_

' _I'm leaving work shortly…just let me know you're ok. Please'_

Jane swallowed down the amber liquid as she began to write back, _'Hey Maur…sorry about walking out earlier. I was wound up. I'm fine now - cooled off…I'm just going to head out…see my pa and tommy… he just got into town. Then I'll get an early night…see you tomorrow?'_ she pressed send. She placed her phone back into her pocket. Then she stood up, finishing the beer she walked from the garden using the back gate- placing the beer in the recycling bin on her way out to the car.

* * *

Walking into the bar Jane held open the door and Rachel walked passed her – the usual Frank was on about was down town, not far from where he used to have his old unit for the family business – she'd spent a lot of time over the years in here.

"So your Pa going to be around?"

"Apparently" Jane nodded, she followed behind Rachel – looking across the tired but cosy bar – a family run place that she felt at home in. No sign of either Frank or Tommy yet, and only a few others dotted around. "So fancy grabbing that table over there and I can sort us some drinks?"

Rachel nodded, "Sounds great… beer will be fine"

"One beer coming up" Walking toward the bar Jane picked up her phone – a new message from Maura – _'your going to see your Father? Out of choice? You sure you are okay? Give me a call if you need to Jane.'_

Swallowing back her guilt and doubt, she locked the screen of her phone and pushed it into the rear pocket of her jeans. She looked back over to the table where Rachel was on her own phone. "Janie…that you kid?"

"Hey Dave" Jane smiled at the friendly familiar face, "Long time no see"

"Sure is… you know first your Pop shows up and now you…really is a Rizzoli reunion huh?"

"Yeah…you should be seeing Tommy later two…"

"Lucky us hey… how you doing kid?"

"Good… You…hows you folks? " Jane had known Dave from when he'd been a young kid, first starting our here in his parents bar – now he'd taken over.

"They still think there young enough to run around this place causing mayhem – but wouldn't have it any other way. My old man should be showing he face some time today"

"Ah great…will be good to see him…"

"So what can I get you?"

"Two beers. And open a tab… meeting with Dad and Tommy…should be here a while." He turned his back and bent down to the fridge to take out the bottles.

"No problem…can do ….Who's the lady?" he asked as he placed the beers on the bar and nodded to the woman over on the far table.

"That would be Rachel" Jane explained - Frankie's getting married…thanks his wife to be's sister … she's staying with me at the minute... before the wedding"

"Well I'll be over for a proper catch up with you later and you can introduce us" He winked. "Enjoy kid… the first two are on the house"

"Great thanks Dave… come on over when your free"

Lifting the bottles from the bar Jane turned and headed to the table. For the first time in a long time she was feeling like the old Jane. She didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"two beers" She placed them on the table and took the seat opposite Rachel.

"two…" Rachel enquired.

"Long day, don't ask."

"Jane? Should I be worried?"

Jane laughed, "You've known me for three and a half weeks… not your job to worry." It was said in a light hearted manor, and Rachel took it as such – she couldn't help but worry for the detective however. "Honestly … I'm fine. Just finishing work, the crazy week I've had and this wedding… its time for a beer." Holding out the bottle to cheers Jane reassured the other woman, "I'm fine… now let's enjoy our afternoon. Cheers"

"Cheers" Rachel nocked the bottle necks together and they both took a mouthful of beer back.

"So how was last night?" Jane asked

"Yeah really good… nice to see my sister so happy you know. Fankie's a good guy huh?"

Jane nodded her head, "Yeah…he is... and your sisters good for him"

"Yeah" Rachel looked around the bar, "I'm shocked that you are out to meet your father… after yesterday I thought you'd need a break"

Jane shrugged, "If I'm honest…sometimes…it's nice to show up somewhere I'm not going to get judged" she held up the beer, "If you know what I mean" she drank a mouthful down again before continuing, "Plus…been a while since I've seen Tommy…and perfect time for you to meet him"

"Yes…Tommy…not really heard much about him"

"You'll learn all you need to shortly" Jane laughed.

"well you know what Jane … today I've had a day and a half between the wedding, then work drama and that god damn husband of mine this is exactly what I needed…so thank you"

"Your welcome…here's to a night off"

* * *

Maura stood in her kitchen, chilled glass of wine in hand, she'd discarded her heels as she'd entered the front door – however still dressed in her work attire she needed the drink before doing anything else after the day she'd had. She looked down at the text from Jane – she typed and sent her response. Then opened a new text to Frankie – _'you heard of Jane since earlier…she's going to meet you Father apparently…'_ Send. She didn't need to expand on that text, she knew Frankie would read into the situation just as she had.

She was infuriated that she felt so helpless right now. If Jane was shutting her out there wasn't much she could do tho. She had been here before and all she could do is wait till Jane needed her.

What was she to do this evening – sit here worrying about the brunette or carry on with her original plans for that evening. She had a fund raiser for one of her charities that she'd arrange to attend – maybe getting dressed up for the evening and going out would take her mind of everything. She was going to be seeing Jane tomorrow night – just the two of them – this would be the prefect opportunity for them to really talk through everything. No distractions or interruptions.

A call cut into her thoughts, the name flashing on the screen her date for the evening to the event, she answered, "Good afternoon James…" she tried to focus on her call but couldn't help but wonder where Jane was and in what state of mind.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

"So…what time are you expecting them to show up?" Rachel fiddled with the bar mat in her right hand, her attention been drawn to the slightly warped piece of card.

Jane shrugged her shoulders, "when it comes to the Rizzoli's these two are the least reliable trust me" she explained. "They will show up sooner or later…" The two of them had been here around half hour now, Rachel had given a full account of the prior evenings events once they had left Jane's as well as giving a recap of the wedding update from that morning. "so you mentioned your husband…what's going on with him…"

Rachel shook her head and broke eye contact with Jane looking down at the half drank beer bottle in hand, "We're complicated"

This intrigued Jane, the last time the two of them had gone out the night turned into the two sharing a little more than either expected- Jane knew that Rachel and her husband had their issues but she didn't really dig into it and based on the way Frankie had been on her back about Rachel it made Jane want to figure this woman out. Also, it was nice to be distracted from her own issues for a change. "Complicated?" Jane was a detective, usually getting a person to talk was no trouble – usually she wasn't trying to get a journalist to talk.

Rachel smirked when she looked up, "Your familiar with complicated Jane… you don't need me to expand"

"I don't need you to…I want you to tho" Jane was honest.

"He's an asshole with a capital A. Then again so am I…" Rachel lent back in her seat, "Why are you so interested?"

Jane shrugged, "Same reason you're so interested in why I'm sat with a beer in front of me right now, why I'm here meeting up with my Pa who I clearly have issues with and why I want to be sitting her with you" Jane knew she could give as good as she was getting when it came to the journalist sat across the table - she also relaxed back further into her seat - the exchange was so easy. "But you don't want to ask me for fear of me closing down on you. Your good at what you do Rach…I can tell… your reading me every time you walk into a room"

"You're intriguing"

"Back at you"

A comfortable silence fell over them before Rachel broke it, "tell you what… let's put an end to all this guessing… lets ask each other the questions that are burning … and we have to answer…truthfully… "

Thinking for a moment she gave in, "Go for it" Jane accepted the challenge, "You first…" Rachel nodded her head in agreement, "What's the real deal with your husband?"

"We have been married just over five years. We both have jobs where we travel. We both sleep around… we both know it… neither of us really give a damn at this point… well until he has a drink that is, or a bad day at the office… the aim with the two of us at this point is to keep a front of normality. He's an abusive asshole who I can't seem to walk out on for some reason. To my family it looks a lot more normal than it actually is. To them…it just appears like we are having normal couple issues that a little less traveling and a little more talking would fix… our relationship is far from normal – always has been" the ease with which Rachel explained the dysfunction that was her marriage shocked even her.

"Nothing is ever what it seems at face value" Jane commented.

"I'm still not sure when he is showing up for this wedding, or if he is. Don't worry tho…I've booked a hotel to go stay at when he gets into town… you don't need us around you"

"Hey…you're more than welcome to stay"

"it wouldn't be a good move. But thanks"

"Well its your call…but my Ma will give us both an earful if she finds out you plan to leave for a hotel – 'Janie...they are family, family doesn't send family to hotels'" Jane imitated her mother with a smirk, the likeness was uncanny, "listen - keep the key for as long as this wedding needs you to have it" jane reassured, "Honestly it's kind of nice to not be in that house on my own" Rachel accepted this and allowed the offer to settle between them.

Than after a mouthful of beer she asked her question, "So why are we sat here?"

Jane responded, "You picked the table not me"

"You know what I mean Jane…why are we in your Pop's old bar… why are you drinking…and why with me?" Jane picked up her beer and looked over to the bar. Maybe this game wasn't going to be as easy as she thought. "We can stop this and go back to drinking and talking about anything but our problems if you want…your call"

Jane appreciated being offered the out, and she considered it, but for some reason she chose to answer "Honestly… I thought I'd make it past the need to drink this time but…just before you walked into my house today I'd been sat in front of a bottle of Vodka that would have led to a night locked away in my room and god knows what state I'd be in… this bar, my pop, Tommy… drinking here wont have people look at me the way it would with the guys at the station, Frankie, Ma…" Jane stopped herself, guilt coming over her as she spoke the last name, "Maura…" if the doctor saw her right now – shed be so disappointed. "And… I suppose I feel less like a screw up if I'm drinking like this, in a bar…socially."

"And why with me…you could have dragged yourself down here without me"

"I… like spending time with you. I feel normal around you not like I'm some patient that everyone is walking on egg shells around." That sat in the air for a few moments before Jane continued, "I got another question for you… why are you sitting here, watching me loose at being sober?"

"Jane…you said it…you are going to drink one way or another tonight…you made that decision… better like this, somewhere your happy to talk than locking yourself in your room and shutting off your phone"

"I've fucked up"

"It's a set back… you can stop right now if you want. We can head on back to yours…order a Chinese"

Jane shook her head, "Not tonight. I need this…" Looking over to the bar she caught sight of Dave, she got his attention with a nod of the head and held up two fingers indicating more beers to be sent over. "so… next question… why is my brother on my back thinking that we have slept together?"

Rachel laughed, "long story short…. He's easy to wind up and ever since the night we hung out at the bar and people started talking it just made it too easy to keep him going"

"You're causing me a hell of a lot of problems with that Kid you know"

"I know" Rachel winked, "Just having a little fun"

"So the flirting with me… is it just fun"

Rachel shrugged her shoulders, "Hey… I'm not playing any games here. How I am with you is just natural… that it winds Frankie up in the process - that is a bonus"

"You were made to be a sister in law to him… your just adding to his problems" Jane laughed back. This was exactly where she needed to be today. Slipping off her jacket she hung it on the back of the chair next to her.

Rachel watched Jane place the jacket on the chair, the red marks down janes left arm still raised and visible – leaning forward she spoke "So my turn to ask…"reaching her hand out across the table she allowed her fingers to touch softly over the area of angry raised marks, "should I be worried about you? Or are you able to explain away this?"

Jane swallowed, the contact from the other woman stopped her for a moment, she looked down at the hand on her arm Rachel's thumb ran over the marks "I got agitated…sitting around for the last hour deciding what to do about the bottle… nervous habit…I scratched at my arm" Jane didn't understand why she was recoiling from the touch right now – that's what she'd usually do. Yet sat here, this woman had the ability to make her open up which very few people had the power to do, and she had the ability to put the brunette at ease.

"So…there's nothing for me to be worried about?"

Jane smiled, "When it comes to me there's a lot to be worried about… but… if you're asking about the marks on my arms – correct – there is nothing for you to worry about. Like I said…nothing more than a nervous habit"

"Two beers" Dave slid the bottles onto the table, he was loud and unapologetic about it. His Boston accent cut into the moment between the two. Jane pulled her arm back slowly and her hand covered over the area where Rachel's had just been.

"Thanks Dave"

"No problem Jane…so…" He now looked to the other woman, "I hear your joining the Rozzoli Family huh?"

"My sisters marrying Frankie" Rachel explained.

"Well good luck to them. Your in good hands here with this one anyway" Dave indicated to Jane.

"Yeah…I think your right" Rachel agreed, she looked from Dave to Jane.

"Jesus Dave - who's paid you to talk me up" Jane asked him, "listen…a few hours time he'll be talking shit about me over there"

"Oh really..." Rachel raised her eyebrows with intrigue, "in that case I'll catch you in a few hours over at the bar"

"there will be a drink waiting" he tapped his knuckle on the table, "listen…it's nice to meet you… enjoy" and with that he walked away to continue serving.

* * *

Maura walked through the large entrance to the banquet hall. She was impressed again by the efforts of the foundation – they never failed – this was a charity that the Isles family had supported since she had been very young and the mantle of showing up every year had been passed to herself around ten years back now. Not that she minded – this was a world she grew up in and she felt at ease falling in and out of as she wished. As they entered into the main room Maura was instantly greeted by a familiar older woman whom she'd been seated near at last years event.

"Ah Dr Isles… how do you do?"

Maura smiled softly, "Ms Richards. Its been a long while." It was then, when Maura felt the hand of her date this evening rest on her lower back that she stepped into the role she knew like the back of her hand, "Please…let me introduce you to James O'Connor, you may know his..."

"His father…why yes I do…" Ms Richards held out her hand, taking James's, "you look the image of him, god rest his soul. We are very sorry to hear of his passing. Please pass our regards to your mother."

"Appreciated Ms Richards, I will pass on your well wishes."

"And yourself Dr Isles… we have missed you at the recent events. Are you well?"

"I've had some busy months leading up to this evening…I had sent my apologies over."

"Of course Dr Isles, just wanted to ensure that all was well." The older woman reassured, then she changed course, "You know… I believe your mother may be here this evening"

"My Mother…is that right" Although Maura hoped it didn't show outwardly she felt her chest tighten, she had wanted nothing more than a night away from everything, now she would have a night which she'd have planned to have avoided had she known. "Well there was I thinking she was still in Europe" Scanning over the large room, that had already filled with many men and women dressed in their finest black tie attire, she didn't see her Mother however she did locate the bar. "Please Ms Richards do excuse us… I will look forward to catching up with you later this evening"

Leaning forward the woman who stood a little shorter that Maura kissed both of the Dr's cheeks without contact and gave her hand a squeeze, "I look forward to it" she then repeated such action with James, speaking further words that were lost on Maura. Her mind was now elsewhere – such as why her mother was back in town and why she hadn't been aware of this.

"…well we are only three steps through the door and it has begun" James was again at her side and his hand again found the bottom of her lower back, "I think we need a drink…the usual"

That James even knew her usual shocked her, they had dated previously, many years back when Maura had been more of a regular in this world – before her life had become more involved with those at Boston PD. She'd find herself missing more and more of events similar to this to pull late shifts to assist with the crime of the week or alternatively to sit on her sofa, in the company of Jane and who ever else filled her home as an addition to the friendship. "That would be lovely… I will find us our seats"

With that the two parted, Maura watched as James moved through the crowds to the bar, and then she walked to the side of the room where large windows overlooked a terrace that ran out over the rolling gardens – she knew what Jane would be saying right now – nothing good and more than likely sarcastic - she took her phone from her purse and looked down at the screen, one message from Frankie:

 _I have spoken with Pa, they are heading down to an old bar we used to drink in… I'll head on over and clear everything up with her... sorry you have been dragged into the Rizzoli Drama Maura_

Maura's heart sunk a little further, little did he know been dragged in wasn't the problem it was the feeling of been pushed away by Jane that was hurting her more. How much longer could she play out this roller-coaster with the detective? She had to come clean and tell her how she felt – the fear of being rejected was strong but this torture of standing on the side lines couldn't continue. Tomorrow evening - dinner was the place for her to finally talk this through – irrelevant of what else was happening.

Placing her phone back into her purse she welcomed James and the glass he held, "there you go Maura"

"Thank you, I'll be needing this if my Mothers around" Maura took a sip from the glass and then went on to speak with her date for this evening, "You know… I'm thankful you contacted me to attend this evening together. These evening can get alarmingly claustrophobic"

"Well… were two old friends who know how to have fun without any regret in the morning, and from the last time we met at one of these, I figured the next one we go to together…make it a bit more bearable"

Maura nodded her head in agreement, however corrected him, "a night spent with me is more than bearable James" she corrected with a light hearted smile. Looking back over the grounds she continued, "Let's hope we don't run in to…"

"Maura…darling…" Too late Maura thought as she heard the familiar voice of her mother behind her. Turning, Maura offered a smile.

"Mother" she greeted, stepping away from James arm she stepped toward her mother and with much the coldness she had greeted the earlier woman at the door she greeted her mother with two kisses, on to either cheek. "I was unaware you would be here this evening"

"Well dear…there had been some talk you may miss it and I was able to change some appointments around so…here I am. You know this evening is a very important date in the calendar every year."

"Of course mother…hence my being here. Talk? Talk from Who?"

"Oh never mind that dear" Her attention was drawn to James who stood behind her daughter. "And who may this be…"

Maura turned, remembering her date, "Oh Mother…this is James O'Connor. James this is my mother Constance Isles."

He took her hand, "lovely to meet you Ms Isles. Such a lovely evening arranged" he complemented.

"yes…it should be." Constance agreed.

"Please allow me to get you a drink… may I?" he asked holding his hand out to her empty. Constance handed him the glass over and nodded. He turned his attention to Maura, "I will return"

Once he had left the pair Maura awkwardly began to speak with the woman before her who really did feel like a stranger at times, "Shall we take a seat"

"You know dear…it really is good to see you with a man on your arm. It's not proper…a woman of your age and standing …to be single. I hope to hear you have plans to leave that property you purchased and move into one of the family estates… something suited to your background?"

"Mother… not now" Maura warned. Constance passed Maura heading for a quieter area where there was a suitable seating area. Maura drank back what was in her glass and held up the empty toward James who stood at the bar indicating she required another. This was going to be a very long evening.

"Oh dear, there is no place for a woman of your age to be seen with a different man on her arm, or no man at all, at events in the social calendar. People talk don't you know"

"Again…what people mother?" Maura never was one to give consideration to what people said. Constance shook of Maura's question as if it being of no importance who was saying what more for Maura to take note of what was being said. Maura wanted nothing more to roll her eyes and stand from the table to leave however her mother's presence as always made her feel like that small child seeking love and acceptance.

"You know Maura I'm very happy to have ran into you here this evening … myself and your father had been speaking and he is returning from Africa later in the month – we have business to deal with over the summer in Europe however… we will be returning to New York nearer to the end of the year – I have a very large exhibition in the early part of next year we will preparing for. We must make arrangements for you to come to meet with us if your work commitments allow"

"I'm sure arrangements can be made" The idea of spending any time with Her mother and father together was not something Maura welcomed. "Do send over the dates"

"I will do just that."

"Hope I'm not interrupting" James had returned, Maura welcomed him back with a thankful smile as she took the drink her offered.

"No at all, please do take a seat" Constance responded. Maura knew this evening was going to be a very long one.

* * *

"Jesus Janie…" Tommy took the empty seat next to his sister and placed an arm around her shoulders, "How long has it been"

"Too long Tommy. You keeping out of trouble?"

"of course you know me"

"Exactly" Jane shot him a look, "good to see you" she meant that. They had been close growing up but since he'd gone to prison their relationship had strained a little, she hoped that him showing up for Frankie's wedding was a good sign that things would improve. "So… are you staying with Pa or you moving back to Boston?"

Jane and Rachel had been at the bar just over four hours now and Tommy and Frank senior had shown up just over two hours ago – so the last two hours had been filled with stories from the good old days, easy banter and Frank repeatedly telling Jane he was happy to see that she'd given up that healthy eating nonsense while trying to convince her to visit him in New York. Rachel was now at the bar with Dave and Frank Senior leaving Tommy and Jane by themselves. "Moving in with Ma…getting back on my feet…then I will be looking to get my own place you know…"

Jane nodded her head, then she lent her head on his shoulder. "It will be good to have you back around"

"Yeah. I've missed you Jane…I've heard things haven't been great for you."

Jane laughed, "Jesus you could say that…"she nodded her head, "Things have been going from bad to worse" she explained

"Sorry to hear that. And I'm really sorry I wasn't around when you needed me kid" Tommy kissed the side of her temple. Jane knew exactly when she needed him, when she was putting the woman she loved in the ground, she closed her eyes attempting to block out the flash backs his comments were bringing with them. He continued "we get through this wedding and then we catch up properly… catch a game, grab a pizza…then you can fill me in. What you say?"

"Sounds like a plan" A silence fell between them as the reality Jane was trying to escape found a place at the table with them. So she was happy when Tommy changed the subject.

"So… you going to tell me more about our new sister in law to be…" Tommy nodded toward the bar, "She's absolutely gorgeous and funny…is she single?"

"She's married…" Jane explained, "so you can quit with the flirting…you're embarrassing yourself"

"Me… hey….I'm not the Rizzoli her hands are all over. The two of you need to get a room " Tommy teased, "she's laughing with you and your jokes aren't funny…she's after one of us around this table and it isn't me"

Jane elbowed him in the ribs, "screw you Tommy." Jane lifted the bottle and drank back the beer left in her bottle, "and for god sake don't let Frankie hear you speak like that"

"Too late" Frankie slipped into the seat opposite the two of them just at that moment.

"Oh god…how long you been there?" Jane asked.

"Long enough"

"You not get the picture earlier Frankie…I'm avoiding you right now!"

"Jane…what the hell are you doing? How long you been sinking them?" He was concerned about her, he'd seen her quit and start before but he thought she was in the right place this time around, that she was solid.

"Oh Frankie…don't look at me like that. I'm fine." She stood up from the table, turning to her older brother, "Tommy … You deal the cards, I'm going to get us more beers…"

"and a Jameson" Tommy requested. She nodded her head and stood from the table heading over to the bar.

"…are you fucking kidding me" Frankie threw a beer mat at Tommy, "She's off the drink"

"What Janie? I've been here the last few hours…she's defiantly not off the drink" Tommy laughed.

"Maybe if you were around you'd be all caught up… forget it" Frankie stood to his feet, frustration getting the better of him. He looked over the empties that filled the table and watched as his sister walked to the bar. He reached for the phone and thought about calling Maura but there was nothing she could do right now, so he decided against it. Instead he took a seat next to tommy and settled in for an evening of attempting to talk some sense into Jane and hopefully getting her home.

At the bar Jane approached where her Pa and Rachel were "Dave…good man…another round and Frankie has joined us so add one onto that…and send us a bottle of Jamesons to the table" she called over her Pa's shoulders.

Dave looked over to the table with the two Rizzoli Brothers, "Rizzoli… if I see cash down on that table with them cards we are going to have a problem" he warned.

Jane held her hands up, "what us…. Dave…I'm a Detective …what do you take me for?" she winked at him causing him to role his eyes, "add the round to the tab please!"

"Now look …this is the old Janie I'm used to" Frank put his hand on his daughters arm, "nice to have you back kid!" he shouted over the noise of the bar. He turned to Rachel who was stood to his right, "You know Rachel she needs a good guy to look after her… your husband have any friends to set her up with"

Jane put her hand on her fathers back, "Pa… I don't need you setting me up on dates. And…I'm not really looking to get with any of Rachel's husbands friends…thanks" Jane allowed herself to rest a lingering look in Rachel's direction, who was stood amused by the exchange taking place, Jane let her eyes lock with the other woman's gaze then slowly let eyes travel downward over the womans form.

"Yeah... not really got a friend in mind for her if I'm honest" Rachel replied, fully aware of how Jane was looking at her right now "so what's happening at the table… Poker?"

"You play?" Jane asked.

"Sure do"

"Lets see what your made of then hey…"

* * *

His head was rested on the rear window of the taxi; his journey had taken a lot longer than he remembered it to take. Usually he wouldn't be sat in the rear of a taxi on his own, and the last time he'd taken this journey had been some time ago now. In fact he couldn't recall exactly how long ago.

"You say it's somewhere around here kid?" The driver looked in her rear view at the passenger, the younger than usual customer didn't respond to his question. He was looking out the window seeming to be lost in his own world. "Hey…Kid…"

"huh? Yeah?"

"Kid…around here is it?"

He looked around him, they drove next to an open park area that say in the centre of quiet residential streets – this was it, he was close "yeah… this is it. Just here"

"Are you sure?" The driver looked around him, "it's a park"

"Just over the park is where I'm heading." He began gathering his backpack – "How much?"

"Well that's $65…" The driver explained, "You know… a little word of advice kid… avoid hitch-hiking in the future and you won't need to jump a real expensive taxi ride back home so you folks don't find out"

"Yeah… tell me about it… lesson learned" He took cash from his jacket pocket, "Thanks for the lift"

"Kid…call it $40 and promise you will be smarter in future" The driver had kids of his own, not much older than his current passenger, "How old are you anyway?"

"Fifteen…"

"Too young to be out roaming around Boston this time of night." He took the $40 dollars "Suppose your parents will be giving you a lecture when you get in tho so you don't need another one. Go on kid…get home" the driver unlocked the rear doors.

"Yeah…something like that" Stepping out of the car he lifted his bag over his shoulder, "Thanks again" and with that he shut the door closed. He did his jacket up and headed into the park.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

"Damn…" Tommy barked, throwing his cards to the table – and slamming his fist down after them.

"Oh don't cry bro" Frankie laughed as he watched Rachel clear the table for the second time tonight. "Trust me…she's take you for all you have if you let her"

Rachel snirked across the table at both Rizzoli brother, reaching to the centre of the table she collected the cash that had accumulated. "What's better than winding one Rizzoli brother up – winding them both up. Thanks guys!" She winked

"Jesus…" Jane lent back in the chair next to Rachel, "it took me years to perfect getting Tommy that stressed out. You have managed it in two hours… I approved of this family you're marrying into Frankie" she laughed, "Pa…what you say…"

"looks like this ones one of us if you ask me" Frank senior nodded, lifting the glass from the table.

"Rizzoli… all of you…you think I'm blind!" Dave called out from his place at the bar, "no cash!"

Jane held her hands up, "Hey… he owed her that cash... nothing to do with the cards!"

Dave shook his head, turning his back on the table.

"…come on… lets go again" Tommy began gathering the cards to shuffle them.

"You're not going to win it back Bro- trust me…I have been here many nights before" Frankie pointed over the table to his soon to be sister in law – "This one… she will empty your wallet if you let her"

"You still bitter about that one Frankie" Rachel asked, then she sat back in her seat, addressing the rest of the table, "One night, a few games of cards and too many beers in Frankie's case making him brave – led to him begging my sister to get his money back of me for the next week!" She laughed, "Having brothers really is run isn't it!" she directed this at Jane now.

Jane nodded, "You have no idea!"

Frankie relaxed back into his seat, he had to admit, the evening really had taken a turn for the better – he had thought on rout here he was going to dealing with a sloppy, emotional, angry Jane like he'd done in the past after picking her up from one bar or another – this evening however was different. It actually felt like he was seeing a little of the old Jane re-appear – clearly she'd had a few beers over the course of the day but she wasn't in the usual state she'd be in after finding her way to a bottle and a bar. He'd enjoyed the time with Tommy and his Pa as well – the relationship between them had its own strains – but sat here around the table felt normal – like the old Sundays around the dining room table after dinner, when they were a family, before Frank had left.

"I don't buy it…I'm just having an unlucky run" Tommy began to deal the cards again as Frank began topping up the glasses in front of his kids, jane put her hand up to decline the top-up.

"No thanks!" she held the beer in hand that was still half full, "I'm good"

"You brought this bottle and not touched a drop!"

"I'm happy with the beer – that was a welcome back gift to Tommy" she explained, "And… I was thinking it may be time for me to head out… I mean… " She placed her hand on Rachel's arm, "that Chinese option you put to me earlier still on the table?"

Rachel nodded her head, "Sure is… and looks like its on me tonight!" she held the cash up. Frank laughed seeing Tommy give up dealing the cards out, accepting defeat.

"We are having a rematch at the wedding" Tommy told her.

Jane put her still half full beer on the table, standing to her feet, "I'm going the bathroom and I'll call us a taxi then"

"Sounds great" Rachel agreed.

Jane left the bathroom and stepped out into the small beer garden area at the back of the bar to get a little air and make the call for the Taxi. The call was made with ease and the taxi was on rout, Jane decided to take a further few moments out here getting some fresh air – he relative calm was interrupted by her younger brother.

"Hey Janie"

Jane turned to see Frankie step out the door and walk toward her, "Oh god Frankie… please don't start… I'm really not in the…"

"Wait…wait…" Frankie held his hands up, "I'm not… I'm…here to apologise. Genuinely apologise…the way I've been acting, I'm out of line." He shrugged, "I'm not your keeper. I have no right to go in on you like I have been… and the other morning especially I …."

Jane put her hand up, she didn't need to recall that morning right now, she knew what he was getting at tho – and she didn't expect this, "I… err…"

He cut in on her, "Look its no excuse but the wedding it's stressing me out more than I'd like to admit – the family politics …. Well you know – and I think I've been taking it out on you to be honest." Jane just nodded her head in agreement, "You know I'm looking out for you too…in my own messed up way… and I think I'm getting it wrong"

"Yeah….you are." Jane smiled; the apology was genuine, "Look… I appreciate you looking out for me. I'm not a kid tho…and I don't need a baby sitter"

"I know you don't." He lent forward and gave her a hug. "we will have a proper chat some other time… about all this"

Jane's phone beeped indicating a text coming through – "Yeah… think that would be good. Look that's my taxi, I'm going to have to…"

"Yeah" He stepped to the side and the two re-entered the bar – "Tell you what… I will come back here tomorrow with Amy – grab your car and drop it back to you"

"You sure?"

"yeah…apology an all! Just leave me your key" Jane wasn't going to argue against this offer.

Slipping into the back of the taxi behind the driver seat, Jane put her belt on, Rachel was already sat behind the passenger seat – counting the cash again "God Tommy is never going to forgive me" she laughed

"He'll get over it!" Jane observed the woman next to her.

"My sister won't …she made me promise not to gamble with Frankie ever again after the last time"

"Well to be fair, it's mostly Tommy you cleared out. So… I'll argue you case on a technicality there if you want" she winked.

Rachel turned herself so she was facing Jane now, her back lent on the door, "Deal." she pushed the cash into her jacket pocket and then her tone changed, dropped a little lower for what little privacy she could gather sat in the back of a cab. "Well I have to say… this wasn't how I expected tonight to go!"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought you were woman on a mission – I thought you'd be drinking in that bar till the sun came up and maybe then some! I thought I'd be carrying you back home… however the more the night went on the slower you drank to the point you nursed that last beer for over an hour… what changed?"

"Hey… the questioning me portion of our evening has well and truly passed. No more bearing me soul to you today I'm afraid" she joked light-heartedly.

"No chance… you can't leave me with half the story… my journalist side is starting to kick in"

Jane shrugged her shoulders "that's you problem not mine" she continue to tease, "I'm a complicated kind of woman." She looked away from Rachel and out of the window on the opposite side of her, watching the car lights pass by. If she was honest with herself her intention was to drink herself into an oblivion – but something changed, she felt like she'd regained some control of the spiral this evening and that felt good.

"Intriguing" Rachel corrected, reaching her hand out across the back seat she rested it on top of Jane's hand and let her thumb run over the detectives soft skin. "You… are an intriguing kind of Woman – and someone I need to know more about"

Jane swallowed, "Careful what you wish for" she explained then slowly turned to look back in Rachels direction. She felt herself giving into the flirting that had been present between the two of them – she lent closer to the other woman, speaking slowly, deliberately "You may regret what's about to happen here!"

"We aren't going to be getting Chinese are we" Rachel said, biting her lower lip. Jane shook her head no, she closed the little distance that had remained and softly pressed her lips against Rachel's – something that she'd held back from doing multiple times today. Rachel responded, her hand that had rested over Jane's hand moved to Jane's thigh squeezing slightly against the denim of her jeans. Jane reacted by allowing her own hand to take hold of Rachel's jacked pulling her in closer, kissing a little firmer, deeper – before pulling back. Her heart beat faster in her chest. "Are you sure about this?" Rachel asked her.

Jane just nodded her head yes.

Stepping from the taxi, Rachel passed over the cash to cover the cost, and the car drove off. Jane approached reaching out and taking Rachel's and she began to lead them toward the house. She made it to the front door and as she began to search her jacket pocket for her keys she felt hands on her waist from behind, she felt the other woman's body close to hers, she turned herself allowing her back to rest against the door and Rachel closed the gap between them kissing Jane her hands taking hold around Jane's waist under her jacket, her right hand finding the hem of Jane's shirt lifting it so her hand could slide under resting skin on skin – her thumb running a circle pattern. Then pulling against the fabric Rachel broke the kiss and instructed, "the keys"

Jane already had them to hand, pushing Rachel back from her to create a little breathing and thinking space so she could manage the lock she turned to open the door. She slid the key into the lock and spoke "Jesus… what am I getting myself int…." Before she could finish, as she turned the key, it became apparent the door was already open. "Its open" she declared lowly. Jane stepped back - knowing it had been locked when she left alarm bells began to ring – she then noticed the kitchen light was on.

"Get behind me "she instructed Rachel, "stay being me."

"What the"

"Just … stay here" Jane's whole domineer had changed from ready to be led to bed to ready to fight. She pushed open her front door and stepped into the darkness of the hallway. She moved herself slowly to the entrance side table, opening the draw there was a metal case inside that opened with a code – without a beat of hesitation Rachel observed Jane open the case with one swift movement and lift from it a handgun.

Continuing through the ground floor of the house Jane checked the side rooms, no one inside. Rachel followed behind, not wanting to be out front and not really sure she wanted to be inside either. They were moving toward the kitchen now, slowly Jane rounded the corned, her heart beating in her chest – there was no signs of a break in, nothing had been disrupted but she knew someone was or had been in her home. She rounded the doorway and raised her arms; gun held out in front of her.

Someone was sat at kitchen counter, back to them. "Put you…." She began to bark the order, the stool spoon around and she stopped herself from continuing, she instantly lowered the gun clicking on the safety in one swift movement it was down by her lower leg, set behind her "Oh god" she breathed out, hoping the gun hadn't been seen she slipped it into the back waits line of her jeans. Her heart now beating ten times faster than when she'd originally thought it was an intruder in her house – "Ryan?" her voice was shaky. He stood from the stool, unsure himself of what he should do next. He looked so broken, lost. Wasting no further time Jane moved herself forward toward the kid stood in her kitchen, she wrapped her arms around him pulling him into her – he initially attempted to pull back but gave in to the contact, after a few moments of further uncertainty he gave in completely wrapping his arms tightly around Jane. "Ryan…"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" he said repeatedly, he only tightened his hold on her as he felt his legs giving beneath him, Jane took his weight, he wasn't much shorter than her and at fifteen he was looking more adult that he ever had before – she was thankful she found herself in the gym before her night shifts so she had strength enough to keep them both standing "I'm … I just…." He began to sob into her chest.

Jane felt her own emotions coming to the surface, she was in shock right now but she felt a tear run down her cheek. She let him cry into her for a few moments before pulling back, holding him away from her so she could look over him, "Are you hurt Kid? Are you okay?" she was manic – needed at the very least right now confirmation of this. He just nodded, trying to slow his breathing, it was no luck so he continued to nod, "What… what are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you" was all he managed.

Jane didn't need anything else from him right now; she pulled him back into a hug. Holding him.


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

Rachel stood in the kitchen, still trying to process what had happened since getting out of the taxi - she stood over the hob watching the water in water in the pan boil. She was trying to understand what was happening right now.

"Hey"

Rachel turned to the sound of the weary voice behind her, the confidence she'd seen in Jane in the taxi had returned to a layered sadness and exhaustion. "Hey…just making some tea… least I can do… is he okay?"

"He's….calmer. Not sure about much else at the moment" she explained honestly. Jane had managed to convince Ryan to take a seat in the Livingroom. "He won't say much to me at the minute"

"are you okay?" Rachel lent on the counter behind her, folding her arms over her chest as she observed the other woman.

Taking a deep breath Jane distanced herself from the uncertainty she felt, breaking eye contact with Rachel for the moment she looked over to the kitchen window, only the blackness of the night was visible – with her own reflection layered ontop. She confidently looked back Rachel "I have to be…for that Kid in there" she explained.

"Who is he Jane?" Rachel didn't know if she was over stepping the mark asking but she honestly didn't know what to do or say right now.

Jane walked toward the stove, not wanting Ryan to hear her, "He's my step son." She moved her hand to Rachel's arm, "look I just came to grab a drink for him and check in with you that you're not having PTS over me pulling the gun earlier" she tried to smile to show a lightness to the query, there was nothing light about what was happening here tonight tho.

"Hey don't worry about me… I'm fine… I'm … just….making tea …. Because in my family when you want to be helpful but you have no clue what to do in situations like this you make tea."

"Well… I appreciate it." Jane really did mean that, "any chance you could do me another favour"

"Anything…please give me something helpful to do"

"Can you sort me out a grilled cheese? He's not eaten since lunch time – its 1am now and I know he needs something even if he's telling me he doesn't"

"I'm on it"

"Thank you"

Jane went to move away but Rachel caught her arm, she pulled the brunettes attention back to her – although the grip on her arm was firm there was a softness to it, "Listen, I'm going to sort you this tea and food out and keep out your way…. But you need anything at all, I'm here" Jane just nodded her head, "And… you need to process tonight…even if it's in the early hours come find me" again Jane could only nod her head.

* * *

"Soda" Jane announced as she walked back into the living room, heading over to the sofa she sat on the opposite side to Ryan and held out the can to him.

"At midnight…" he raised an eyebrow at her, he reached over taking the can, "not really a great parenting move" he joked tiredly, the joke fell hard between both of them however.

Jane watched as Ryan began to fiddle with the ring pull on the can "Well, firstly its one in the morning…and I never was the strict parent in this house was I" she said with a soft smile, "That was your…" She stopped herself, a lump forming in her throat. Reaching forward she took the can back from the teenager, she opened it for him and handed it back – then she opened the second can she'd brought in for herself – cracking it and taking a drink.

"Mom's job?" he finished for her. Jane looked to the floor, "You can say Mom- I won't breakdown" he told her

Jane was more worried she'd breakdown, and she couldn't allow that to happen, not here with him. She nodded her head, "I know Kid." She wasn't really able to speak about his mom right now, "Does your dad know where you are Ry?" Ryan shrugged his shoulders, now becoming more interested in the can, he began to drink. "I'm going to have to ring him either way Ryan so you may as well be honest with me!"

"I'm not going back. I'm not going…" Anger rose into his chest, "this was my house too" he slammed his drink down on the coffee table in front of him.

"Hey… listen…" Jane caught hold of his arm, she could feel how tense he was, "stop… I'm not trying to be the bed guy here and this will always be your house" he didn't relax under her hold, "really Ry… I mean it… this is your house…. But your fifteen, it's the middle of the night and if I'm right in thinking your dad has no clue where you are he's going to be worried sick… i'm going to call him"

".but he hates you"

Jane nodded her head, she was well aware of ryans fathers feelings towards her, "yeah well that's even more reason to call him and let him know before he shows up at my door and finds you here. How did you get here anyway kid?"

"You're not going to like it"

"Look your dads going to ask me…and my experience when you mess up…it's a good idea to tell the person when they have a chance to cool down before they see you…if I tell your dad now he might calm down before he sees you"

He thought that made sense, he reached into his jean pocket – taking out a stack of crumpled notes – he placed them on the table next to his can – around $140 dollars in cash – in twenty's and tens. "I took this out of his office – and I…got a taxi here!"

Jane shook her head, "Your right… I don't like it." Her tone was stern.

The door to the living room opened wider, there was a nock as Rachel walked in holding two plates – "hey… sorry to interrupt – I have a couple of grilled cheese"

Ryan didn't say anything, he just watched the woman walk over to them and place the plates on the table.

"Thank you" Jane stood to her feet. She turned to Ryan, "Listen kid… I am going upstairs to change and then I will call your dad – in the meantime – eat that grilled cheese"

"you have a new girlfriend!" it was more of a statement and a question and it took Jane completely off guard. "Do you live here?" this was now directed at Rachel, "in moms house?"

"Hey…Ry…. You have this wrong… we are friends that's all" Jane cut in to avoid Rachel needing to respond.

"Yeah my dad said Tina was his friend now she's living with us trying to be my new mom… you all lie" he barked, the anger raising again in him, "I hate you all" he directed this at Jane now, he stood to his feet. "I want to go"

Rachel looked to Jane, "I'm going to …" she said softly and pointed up to the ceiling to indicate she'd take herself to the room she was staying in. Jane just nodded, then she looked to Ryan once Rachel had left the room.

"No… you're not going anywhere. I know your hurting…and I know I have a lot of explaining to do… you deserve to be treated like an adult and not a child about this kid... okay…so…how about I go make that call, and I get changed and then we chat"

He balled his hands into fists but let himself fall back down to the sofa, he didn't really have an option, he was just so frustrated and angry about everything. "I don't really have a choice do I" he barked back at her resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, tears of anger brimmed in his eyes, he closed them shut in a hope this would push them back but it just caused one large angry tear to roll down his cheek.

Putting a hand on his shoulder she gave a reassuring squeeze, "Please….eat something…drink the soda and I promise you we will talk" He Just nodded his head in defeat.

* * *

She'd changed into a pair of sweats and a hoody, she made sure to grab another bottle of water on her way upstairs as the dehydration was setting in, no doubt caused by the alcohol she'd consumed earlier but also by the emotions that were bouncing around Jane's body right now like clothing in a tumble dryer. "Fuck" she let out a low grown, sitting on the edge of her bed, he heart beating so fast in her chest, "Oh god!"

She pushed her hand through her hair and felt as her body began to wreck with sobs. She hugged her arms around her own frame holding onto her upper arms – holding herself as she rocked back and forth – flash backs hitting her one after the other – of her old life. Her old family. Her happiness then followed by all the memories she'd tried to suppress, the death, the funeral and the day that Ryan was taken away from her by his father and the arguments that followed.

Standing to her feet she tried to shake off the waves of feelings hitting her, she picked her phone up from the chest of draws and began to search for his number, he hand shaking – she paced the room a little more before finding herself stood, back against her door, phone in hand, his number on screen – she tried to hit call a couple of times before her thumb finally settled on the green phone – her legs gave under her as she slid back down the door, sitting on the floor now she waited for him to answer.

"I should have known he'd be with you…" was how he answered, the tone a piercing bark.

"He's safe" was all she could bring herself to say and all she could manage before he cut back in.

"I'm on my fucking way…"


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

"I'm not going back with them!"

"Ryan… please sit down and talk to me... this isn't helping" He hadn't taken the news of his father coming over very well, he'd been shouting at her for the last fifteen minutes since she told him. He was in the kitchen again now – the food and drink discarded on the kitchen island.

"Fuck you…. You don't give a shit about me. You called him! You don't want me here!" He shouted in Jane's direction, he wasn't allowing her to get close to him – every time she moved toward him he would create space. He had so much anger in him.

"Hey… cut the language kid!" Jane pulled together enough energy to 'parent', however she felt she deserved everything he was throwing her way. "Sit yourself at the damn table and lets talk" her tone was still firm.

"You're just like him!" Ryan had grown up, Jane could see that now clearly for the first time, here stood in the kitchen his anger amplified – the teenager was close to her height if not a little taller. His build showed strength. He wasn't the child that she remembered him being. "you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself… your…your happy that we are out your way aren't you…so you can fuck around with other women just like him huh? Mom had a type I guess!" She waited a beat, as he growled out an angry breath – throwing the can of soda that was on the kitchen island across the room. "FUCK SAKE!"

"Are you finished?" Jane asked, her tone was void of any emotion. A flat tone as she stood in place – her body tense as she took the verbal blows been thrown her way. The lack of reaction from Jane seemed to fuel Ryan.

"I hate you all" he shouted again in her direction "I really fucking hate you!" Jane just nodded, to be honest she wasn't loving herself too much either right now. "I wish…I wish mom found a man to be with after dad…someone to stand up to him. Someone to look after us… to…. to …. "

Jane knew exactly what he wanted to say, and in a way she willed him to say it, she wanted to hear it.

"maybe she wouldn't be dead and I wouldn't be living with that asshole!" Ryan pointed his finger across toward Jane, "You just let him treat us like shit, you let him…. Get away with everything. And you let her die"

"Keep going Kid… keep it coming " Jane encouraged him to get all the anger he was holding onto out even through each round was striking a little deeper. She was now expert but maybe this was what he needed right now.

"I thought I could trust you. That's why I came here ..." he swiped the plate from the counter next and then just as it collided with the floor then he turned himself, kicking at the broken plate that had hit the floor as he walked through the mess toward the table where his backpack was. He grabbed it and went to walk past Jane toward the front door.

She may have been willing to let him explode in the kitchen, but there was no way he was walking away from this house back out into the night on his own. "Okay…that's enough" she took hold of his arm as he tried to pass her, "you had your chance now it's mine…sit!"

He pushed her away but Jane's training kicked in, she steadied herself and found her balance – she managed to halt him, despite him alternating between pushing and pulling to get away. "SIT DOWN RYAN!"

"I'm going"

"Where huh? Where you going to go?" Jane pushed away her own emotions now and stepped into the step parent mode that a few years back was her day to day life. "Where Ryan… from where I'm standing you aren't heading anywhere good"

"don't try and be my mom"

"I'm not… I'm no where close to the woman your mom was Ry… she'd know exactly what to do and say right now…" Jane shrugged, but her tone was still firm "I'm trying kid"

"You're failing!"

Jane knew he was just trying to hurt her. He was succeeding. She needed to take control of this situation. He pulled free and grabbed his jacket from the stool just behind Jane as he passed by, he threw it over his shoulder. Jane turned just in time to see a packet fall from the pocket of his jacket onto the floor between them.

Ryan reacted quickly in an attempt to recover the package but Jane was quicker – she took hold of his shirt and pulled him back from it. Looking from the packet on the floor to Ryan she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Really?"

He began breathing heavily, again he bent forward and reached out but Jane stopped him, shaking her head – "Go in the living room!" she was stern. He didn't make a movement. Jane wasn't going to sit back and wait for this one to plat out on his terms, she was past that now. "I…said…livingroom …now"

"I…I…"

"I don't want to hear it. Get in the living room"

Once he was out of the kitchen Jane allowed the shock to take her over fully, kneeling forward she picked up the pack that had fallen. Her other hand went to the back of her neck and she closed her eyes shaking her head. A sinking feeling settled in her chest.

* * *

Sitting on the sofa opposite where he was, she watched him intently - the packet held in her hands – "You had so much to say in there Ryan… and now… not a word . Nothing to say about the cocaine in your god damn jacket"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"don't…I'm trying really hard right now not to lose control … its taking a lot Ryan. An hour ago you were in there telling me exactly what you thought about me… and now you're just sitting here…."

"I…I…" He shook his head, refusing to speak any further, lowering his head – he fell back into his stubborn silence.

Before any more could be said the sound of her door been beaten broke into the silence, Ryan instantly stood to his feet- "Jane… don't…please don't"

"Just sit!"

Jane stood and headed toward the front door that was beaten on again. She slipped the packet into her front jean pocket and walked into the hallway. Taking a breath to compose herself she pulled it open. "Hank" she greeted him with a nod.

"Where is he"

"Hank, look… I know you're angry with everything right now but… I think we need to talk. Could you come in so we can speak for a few moments"

"Talk… I'd don't want to even look at you let alone talk to you… where the hell is my kid. RYAN!" He barked past Jane.

"Hank…please just come on in… We need to talk about ryan"

"No…we don't. I need to get that kid, in that car and back home…then I need to ground his ass and teach him a lesson in fucking respect. " Hank pushed his way past Jane into the house and turned into the living room . Jane followed – she watched as hank took control of the situation. "You grab your bag and get the hell in that car… don't say a god damn word till we get back home you hear me" Ryan seemed to have lost all his fight in the last hour. Jane wasn't sure if it was due to him burning through all his energy when he was screaming at her in the kitchen or if it was the reality of been found with the drugs and the thought of everything that was now going to bring with it.

Ryan lifted his back and with his head lowered walked toward the exit. Hank took hold of Ryans arm to hurry him out. Jane attempted again, she put her own hand on Franks arm as they were about too pass her, "Frank please…this isn't the way to deal with this… we really need to talk…"

"No" He used his arm to swipe at Jane – his arm once free then continued toward the brunette – his hand pressed against her chests just below her neck and pushed her back against the wall in her own living room, "I don't need your god damn advice on how to parent my kid. You got your hands on my wife and look how that's ended? Just stay the hell away from my god damn family…"

Jane didn't say any more, she stood pinned to the wall, looking into the dark rage filled eyes of the man stood in her home. She could tell by the way his hand shook against her that he was fighting the urge to tighten it around her throat.

"Dad…" Ryan tried to break the exchange by reaching forward and taking hold of Hank's wrist, "Dad please…don't"

It was at this moment another voice entered into the exchange, "Hey… what the hell is this"

It was Rachel now, stood in the hallway. Hank pulled his hand free from Jane, then looked toward Rachel – "Keep your girlfriend in check" he warned Rachel.

"Leave it!" Jane said, to all parties, "Hank..." she warned him, and then she shot a look to Rachel telling the woman to say no more and to remain where she was.

"Get out this house" Hank barked at Ryan and pushed him toward the door, and out toward the car. Jane watched and then slowly shut her front door once the car had pulled away from the curb – she rested her head against the closed door and took a deep breath.

"Jesus Jane…" Rachel had walked down the remaining steps and walked toward where Jane was stood. She placed her hand on Jane's right arm – "What the…"

"Please don't…." Jane's whole body was tense. She pulled her arm back from Rachel, and turned herself – they were stood quite close. "I'm done…I'm done!"

Jane walked past Rachel and toward the kitchen. Rachel was a little taken aback but only for a moment – then she followed. She looked around the kitchen, the mess that covered the floors. "Jane…"

Jane put her hand up and shook her head, "No more questions… please…." she picked up the vodka bottle and a glass, "I think this is a…" Jane shrugged, holding up the bottle, "a drink on my own kind of situation"

Walking back through the kitchen she attempted to walk past Rachel but was stopped by the woman taking hold of her arm softly, "Hun… I'm worried about you"

Jane said nothing; she shrugged her arm free and walked out of the kitchen. She didn't stop till she made it to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she needed to shut out the world.


End file.
